OOOPS!!!! We did it again.......

Just call me "Fertile Mertle". If you are reading this in disbelief, trust me, I'm with you. I have gone through all the emotions.....denial, disbelief, grief, fright, anger, and now--- acceptance. I know that happy, excited, and anxious will come (once the shock wears off!). I have to believe that this has happened for a reason. I know that I have always said four would be good, but Bud couldn't handle it or whatever....but I said that knowing that I was "done". Now that I am not "done", I realize that I really DID want to be....I've been a bit of a mess, I must say....but I am calling this my "Unexpected Blessing". I think that after everything I went through with Nathan, I was so depressed that I was screwed out of the whole welcoming a new baby to the family and having those few weeks to get to know him and the girls getting to come to the hospital to meet him and now I think this may be the way to help me get over that. I still think about how I didn't get to hold and love on my baby for soo long and then when he was home, I was almost afraid of him. I couldn't share him with the world. So, I keep telling myself that we will get through this even though I GOT RID OF ALL MY BABY STUFF!!!!!! (HEY HEIDI----I'll be needing the rest of those maternity clothes back!) I was supposed to be DONE!!!! I was ready for my body to be mine again! Girls---when your momma tells you that it only takes one time-----LISTEN!!! Never did I think that after ONE time (without actually trying!) would this happen....not to mention that it was really late in my cycle...thought that window of opportunity was closed....OOOPS! Well, though I haven't officially been to the doctor, I've done this enough to know that my due date is September 11th or 12th. By the way, I haven't told many about this (not even my family), so if you're reading this now, you may be one of the first to know!